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Murdering Malachi: Part 6 - I Don't Know Where The Shade Is
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"Murdering Malachi" is a special limited series by The Redacted Podcast, produced by Matt Bender and Pamela Bender.
In this compelling episode, Matt Bender dives deep into the complexities of life's struggles, using Robert Frost's timeless poem "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" as a lens. Matt discusses the repeated lines, "And miles to go before I sleep," exploring their significance as a mantra for perseverance. This episode takes a raw and introspective look at the challenges of maintaining stability and consistency in a chaotic world.
Matt also confronts Malachi with a serious allegation that surfaced through their TikTok channel, revealing the layers of Malachi's tumultuous past and the accusations that continue to haunt him. This episode is a rollercoaster of emotions, from philosophical musings to real-life drama, all while highlighting the importance of routine and the human need for a place to rest.
Brace yourself for gripping tales of street fights and wrongful arrests, bringing to light the unpredictable nature of life. Relive a nightmarish knife fight in Philadelphia and the harrowing experiences of those falsely accused within the #MeToo movement. Through personal anecdotes and high-profile cases, we expose the flaws in the justice system and the emotional toll of false accusations. Stay tuned for updates on the ongoing story of "Murdering Malachi," and remember to support the podcast by liking, sharing, and rating it.
Help Malachi Rebuild His Life (Please note: This is specifically for Malachi's fundraiser - not a donation to the podcast - the link to donate to the show is below.)
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Whose woods are these? I think I know His house is in the village, though he will not see me stopping here to watch his woods fill up with snow. My little horse must think it queer to stop without a farmhouse near between the woods and frozen lake the darkest evening of the year. He gives his harness bells a shake to ask if there is some mistake. This is a poem written by Robert Frost in New Hampshire. And miles to go before I sleep. And miles to go before I sleep. This is a poem written by Robert Frost in New Hampshire in 1922. I texted it to Malachi one day while we were having a conversation about life and struggle. I thought it might help him. We mentioned it later in this episode, which is why I thought I would give the audience a full reading From the Redacted Podcast. I'm Matt Bender and this is Murdering Malachi, part 6. I don't know where the shade is.
Speaker 1:The last two lines of Robert Frost's poem are repeated twice in miles to go before I sleep. In miles to go before I sleep. Now there's a lot of debate on why Robert Frost might have put it like that, why he put that line twice. There's scholarly articles and grand analysis done by literary critics, but I think maybe it's a little more simple than that. I think the author is struggling, fantasizing for a moment that it might be easier to just wander into the woods, into the dark, into the void, and not continue on with life's responsibilities and arduous journey. To me, the last two lines are a mantra, something you repeat to yourself to keep moving forward, something we need to say to convince ourselves that the journey is worth it. Also a little bit of trivia about that poem for my literary nerds out there the original typesetter had inserted an Oxford comma. So when he says the woods are lovely, dark and deep which is to say it's all three of those things when Robert Frost found that out, he actually ordered it removed. So the woods are lovely, dark and deep.
Speaker 1:Anyway, I like to use quotes from other people in these episodes, oftentimes to explain something that I have a hard time giving the right words to, because chances are somebody's already done it and said it way better than I could have. Life lessons are a little like that sometimes, where we think we're unique and our situation is unique and nobody's ever been where we are. Chances are somebody's already been there and done that and if we listen, we might actually learn something about ourselves through someone else's experiences. Through someone else's experiences. If I could attribute anything to my success as fucking boring as that sounds and I mean I've had a lot of chaotic shit, I had fucking PTSD, I was in. You know I've had my own shit Not nearly yours but forcing yourself to wake up the same way every day and willing it to be that way so you can and that and that sounds boring Like when you run a business like I had a fucking painting company for 17 years.
Speaker 1:Every day you got to answer the phones. Every day you got to respond to emails. You know every day you got to make sure your. Every day you got to respond to emails. You know every day you got to make sure your painters are out there working Every single day, you got to pay the bills.
Speaker 1:It's just like it's a repetition of consistency and that's 90% of my success. It's 95%.
Speaker 2:I've been trying to do that lately. I've been like telling myself like I'm going to get up at like six or seven or something and I'm gonna go to the gym for an hour and then I'll start, like I I know that there has to be some type of uh I don't want to say stability or what is, and I'm losing words this is a common word, just fucking consistency.
Speaker 2:Thank you I knew that there has to be. My problem has been getting to sleep, that I'm like, fuck, like I, it's so hard for me to get to sleep, like so hard for it. So it's like, but I've been trying, like that's actually been my goal recently. It was like, okay, get up every day, go to the gym, get consistency. You need stability and consistency. Chaos isn't working for you anymore. No, I mean, but it used to to. I thrived in chaos and I made it work. I mean, chaos is the reason I was able to leave the dumpster and end up like five different apartments, but then chaos is the reason I lost the apartments. I mean k I, I knew how to be a success in chaos, but the things I had then I don't have at 50.
Speaker 1:Well, remember the poem I sent you Walking through the woods on a snowy Okay, yes, got you. The chaos is the dark woods. It's beautiful, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep, so it's like I look away from it. I don't Because it doesn't lead anywhere. I've done it. It doesn't lead anywhere you're absolutely right.
Speaker 2:One of the things that is that is not unique to me as much as I love to be unique, um, and and to the point of self-defeat, self-defeating actions is the concept that we don't know how to function unless there's chaos. It's something that's very common in addiction. You'll find a lot of people have struggling, throws in recovery because they just don't know how, or they'll say it's boring. Like you said, you'll hear a lot of people say well, this life is boring. You know, I'm accustomed to running from cops, so I'm accustomed to being up three days in a row. I'm accustomed to, and as much as it's, destroying everything their body, their mind, their life they don't know anything else, and I found that their life, they don't know anything else, and I found that that I'm not unique in that sense.
Speaker 2:Um, that, that boredom, that consistency, is something I I should have been better at a long time ago and, yes, I might have been much more successful than I am. Yeah, I mean, it doesn't just come down to that because we've talked you, I've got a shitload of fucking other issues. I literally am supposed to be insane right now. Oh, fuck, yeah.
Speaker 1:I get that. But talent, realizing that talent is 10% of it. I mean, what is it? 90% inspiration or 10% inspiration, 90% perspiration? I mean people said shit like that because it was true, like it's literally just like showing up, like if you just show up every day, you're already ahead of 90% of people and that's it.
Speaker 2:The talents.
Speaker 1:I've seen some talentless-ass motherfuckers who just show up, Dude.
Speaker 1:I know some rich people, man, and they are stupid, but you know what they are obsessively consistent in even having businesses. I mean, they're up, they're doing it every day, day, responding to everything, meticulous. It might even take them longer to write an email or to come up with a plan or a thought or a system, but they do it, they struggle through it, they pop that and that's. I mean that takes something. It's a strange thing for people to get, because people, always people, have always said to me how lucky I am. Sometimes they're like man, you're so lucky I'm like motherfucker I'm lucky.
Speaker 2:I'm lucky. I've had motherfuckers send me money. I've got a rich uncle who sent me money when I definitely don't deserve it. I've got total strangers. You know, I've never even met person give me a hotel room for a month. I'm not lucky. I'm blessed beyond belief. So when I say I'm a fucking loser, it's not for opportunities, because I fucked up. I'm lucky. Someone who's actually put the work in is not lucky. They put the fucking work in. You put the fucking work in. There's a difference.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's why it's a weird thing, like I've had friends and people like that say that and I'm like dude, it's not luck, it's you. You don't fucking get up in the morning or you don't fucking, you, you call off work, you, you, you could do twice as much business as you're done, and those are the things I did.
Speaker 2:Yeah, those are things I fucked up, fucked up and did those, and and there are times when I get it together and actually it's funny because, to bring it full circle, one of the ways I do it is I read, and I haven't been reading lately it's because I shut everything down and, matter of fact, I'm going to do that tonight. Thank you, because you really kind of even though you know, I don't know where I'm going to live now because of what's going on and even if I do move on I mean I'm facing living in the bushes right now, if I can, but the reality is that I can't use that as an excuse again, because there's always going to be one. I need to get back to where I was, which was every night. I would read that that would take off, turn off TV or the YouTube. That would put my mind in a calm place. You know what?
Speaker 1:I mean.
Speaker 2:And then if I go to sleep, the thoughts that I have are intelligent ones, not titties or ass or violence, or not even cat videos or american idol. You know, it's like some my brain was working. So if I do dream, it's like an intelligent dream that's.
Speaker 1:It's a thought dream. I like to leave myself right before I go to bed with something like like you're saying, intelligent to ruminate on, like even if it was like remodeling something in my house, like I want to think about how I'm going to put that sink in and how I'm going to connect the supply lines and maybe where I'd put that drain. Just something like intelligent but almost nonsensical to just ruminate on.
Speaker 2:Or maybe like a business idea so I, I have to thank you for reminding me, even though it's late today and part of me saying it's too late to fucking do anything. But you know I battle that every day. Um, I'm still here. So you know what the fuck? I'm not dead yet. So if I die tomorrow, I won't give a fuck, will I? You know I'll be dead, but I need to thank you for reminding me of that basic concept. That really is a powerful one, and I, I, when I am doing well, it's because I've incorporated that concept on some level.
Speaker 1:Routine is great Routine. Like our bodies, our minds, we're creatures of habit. We always are, that's without a doubt. Sometimes that habit's chaos, but, like you see people, they work their asses off all week and then they go party on the weekends. So they have their little chaos, they have their time.
Speaker 2:They go to Mardi Gras, they go to Key West. I could never do that.
Speaker 1:And then they tuck it up, they tuck it up, they put their fucking pants back on and then they go back to work.
Speaker 2:I couldn't. You need the chaos, you need that. No, I mean the whole, like work all week, then part in weekends, work all week, part in a weekend. It's like I guess I need more of a more fluctuation, more more mental stimulation than that on some level, or at least or maybe the word depends on what the work is.
Speaker 1:Like, if you have stimulating work, then you're just trying to have a little wildlife, like let's have a wildlife photographer.
Speaker 2:Then I could see me doing that, because then the work itself was like me out in the bushes for fucking 10 hours, or me like me going to a different location each time, me not answering to some asshole boss, like depending on what it was. I could see that and then I probably wouldn't eat the party on the weekends because I'm already getting something out by being like the stimulus, like oh my god, I waited eight hours, I finally got this. You know horn swaddle, you know purple bill, yeah, you know. So there's like a different kind of that whole holding it into the weekends, then exploding, and then like being a zombie the rest of the week.
Speaker 1:That would destroy me yeah, it all depends on what you do. I mean, if you're working for a, a bank, just crunching numbers and shuffle memos and emails. Yeah, that's that's a cage I mean okay, we all, we all need a cage. It's just, what kind of cage do we pick like? A cage can also be like safety or parameters it's funny.
Speaker 2:You said that because I watched the first episode of Star Trek last night the very first one ever, yeah, and it ended with the aliens saying we found that human beings hate cages more than any other species we've ever met, even when the cage is a good one.
Speaker 1:It's like you take an animal right, like a dog or a cat, like sometimes they like to be in a little closed space.
Speaker 2:Well, in one. Automatically, though, because you have to sleep every night. So, no matter how free you think you are, try to stay up more than two days.
Speaker 1:I know that sucks.
Speaker 2:Always found that so weird that, as free as we think we are, every night we need somewhere to lay down, really Like, as free as you think you are, you have to have somewhere to lay down every night.
Speaker 1:That's true. You got to pay for it or make it or own it or have it.
Speaker 2:Something Blooping up some weeds underneath a tree somewhere. You still need somewhere Every single night. So how free are you really? Every single night, you go into your cage that's the cage we want you choose it.
Speaker 1:You can choose it. You're gonna be caged you can't choose it.
Speaker 2:You try to stay up more than two days. You're not choosing. Oh yeah, that's what I've always found that intriguing. As powerful as we are, we shut down every night. Elon musk to the crackhead, it's just not every night, it's every two nights. Doesn't matter as powerful as you think you, it's just not every night, it's every two nights. Doesn't matter. As powerful as you think you are, you shut down every night.
Speaker 1:I was reading about it and it was like I mean, this was a couple years ago, maybe 10. Like they still don't know why we sleep. There's not like a measurable reason why we need sleep.
Speaker 2:I think that's a God thing. I think that's a way of reminding us we're human.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, they say, your brain releases what is it? Diometrotryptophan DMT.
Speaker 2:As powerful as you think you are, dog, I'm shutting you down every night.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dude.
Speaker 2:I'm turning your switch off every night. Yep, Just so you know you're not me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you switched off every night. Yep, just so you know you, not me. Yeah, you kind of suck if you. I mean if you think, if you never slept though the day, your life would just be like one long fucking day. And if you have a bad day, you go to sleep, you can wake up and you kind of be like okay, new day I've thought about that when I have those little daydreams or night dreams or whatever.
Speaker 2:When you think about being some sort of like um, uh, uh, what is that word I'm looking for? When you're like a god person, there's a word I'm thinking about I can't remember it, but like when you think you have like godlike powers or whatever, and I'm thinking demigod, like, yeah, something of that nature, and like, well, okay, so then I don't need to sleep. I just think, well, what would I do? Yeah, I would like sit there. I'm like, well, what would I do? Yeah, if I'm just constantly awake? I've got like this godlike power and I'm just always awake, and what would I do?
Speaker 1:that would also be kind of miserable that would be.
Speaker 2:How long would it last before? I'm just sitting there on the side of the road and I'm a god sitting on a bench, going now what?
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, exactly.
Speaker 2:God sitting on a bench, going, now what?
Speaker 1:Like an internal, uninterrupted consciousness. That would be kind of hell.
Speaker 2:I thought about it. I thought periodically when I go into my little God fantasy to get away from the world, I'm like, what would I do? I would do this, I would do that, I would do this, and I do that, I would do this. And I would almost always end up getting to the point of but then what I got to admit to you, I'm going to change all of these things. Then what?
Speaker 1:There is this. There's this guru on Tik TOK, you know, like the Indian gurus, yeah, and he's funny. He does like funny stuff or he does an impersonational one. He's like not every day can be a good day. Sometimes you just have a bad day and you say fuck it, and you go home and go to sleep and start again tomorrow. It was like his thing, like how everyone's always like oh, you can make it a good day, some days you cannot. You just say fuck it. You say fuck it, say fuck it. You go home, go to sleep, start fresh tomorrow.
Speaker 2:Don't try to make it a good day I I remember there was, I was at a rehab or some I don't know somewhere, and there was some guy who was indian, he was into his new age, stuff, and he was like everything that happens is for the good and everyone was testing it like, well, what if your dog dies? It's for the good because it means, and he was just coming. They're like, well, what if your dog dies? It's for the good because it means? And he was just coming up with these ridiculous rationalizations about how every single thing that happens in life is for the good. That was his thing. There's nothing bad in life, everything is for the good. And it's just like yeah, dog, you obviously have been through some shit.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean? Well, he's like Sun Tzu, right Art of War. There are no good men or bad men, there's only teachers.
Speaker 2:I got to move my car. The sun is now hitting me. Hold on. Yeah, you're fine, am I? Do I have gas? Yes, I do. Oh boy, I've been sitting here so long the sun moved. Alright, let me just Find figure out when the shade is, cause it's like Literally starting To peak down on me and I don't know when the shade is.
Speaker 2:Give me one second. I'm trying to figure out when the shade is. You're good, I think I might have Parked sideways. I don't think it's going to be. You know, when it stunts in a direction where the lines you hit the sun, no matter where you are. No, you don't sit in parking lots like I do. I'm fucking with you. I actually told dude I'm not coming back for later because I don't want to be there when he's not there. He's like, yeah, that's cool.
Speaker 1:Wait till he crushes up some Ambien and puts it in her fucking Zinfandel and then you can go home when you can't go home.
Speaker 1:That's a problem. The first part of that episode was just kind of a conversation that we had before what was supposed to be the real conversation, and I felt it was important to include it. There's good little tidbits in there. Anyway, while we were in the middle of producing and recording interviews with Malachi, we got this mysterious message through our TikTok after publishing a preview for one of the episodes. The message was from a woman claiming that in 2019, malachi sexually assaulted her. It's a pretty serious allegation. She made some other claims that he was a liar and a con artist. Essentially, and to be honest, it was quite shocking. I knew he had a sketchy past and he's told us all about that, but this was so recent. We messaged her several times to see if she would be interested in interviewing or even just talking about it off the record and I feel as if we owe her that at least but she declined In having some level of journalistic integrity.
Speaker 1:I knew I had to confront Malachi on the accusation. It's an awkward thing to bring up, but I knew I had to and it's just generally part of the story of his life. We researched the claims and did find court records from Wisconsin a misdemeanor with a fine, not quite sexual assault charge, but more disorderly conduct. I wanted to set him up a little bit, not to be malicious, but more so to get his honest reaction and hear his side of the story. Not to be malicious, but more so to get his honest reaction and hear his side of the story Before I could even get to the question.
Speaker 1:Luckily he came clean about it Now. Keep in mind we're not taking sides on this, nor do we condone or validate any of the actions or claims or anything from either party. But we were only able to get one side of the story. So here's Malachi's. So when was I mean you went through all this other? You know stuff you had in your past with possession and you know going to jail, but you know how old are you now again roughly 53, 54.
Speaker 1:53, 50, okay, I lose track.
Speaker 2:You get to count the notches or count the rings. You're right, cut me open. Yeah, once you get past all the blubber, you'll find a ring.
Speaker 1:What was the last time that you kind of got arrested? How long has it been? What was the last time that you kind of got arrested, or like how long has it been?
Speaker 2:I think it's like four or five years ago, something like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And the thing about it is that it really really gets my gulp. Is that actually before we go there? Can I tell one separate story just popped in my mind? Yeah, sure, just just because it's very short, it's very stupid, but it's kind of one of those ones where you're like, wow, so early, early, early on in my early addiction and I was outside.
Speaker 2:I was at the same bar that I got arrested at the first, very, very, very first time. I don't know why I kept going to this bar it's a gay bar and I was outside the bar and there was this homeless bum. I was drunk, so this is really early when I still drank. I drank for like a year and that was it. I was like drinking takes me to some other place that I don't like, so I only drank for. Then drugs took over and it was a different thing, but it wasn't. Drinking just does something weird to you. So I was outside the bar and this bum, this homeless bum, me and him start arguing. Why the fuck am I arguing with a bum, I don't know, and he threatens to beat me up. I threaten to beat him up. I pull out a knife. He pulls out a knife. I pull out a second knife, pulls out a second knife.
Speaker 2:So we're in the middle of the street, center city, philadelphia, having a knife fight. I'm drunk, he's a bum. Somehow we missed each other and I don't know how it has. Somehow we separated and I I end up bending down to tie my shoe. And I look up and there's a gun pointed at me and thank god, I think for a split second I almost, almost reached for the knife. I'm drunk, you know, but God saved me. I didn't like, I think I felt myself reaching for the knife and then, just, I was no longer reaching for the knife and so it was cops and they put me in handcuffs, they threw me in a cop car and then they threw the bum in the cop car right next to me. So we're having this knife fight Totally my fault, there's no reason. I was drunk, I own all of this. And the bumpster was trying to headbutt me. And now I'm sobered up. Now I'm sobered up Like quick, and I'm looking at a cop and I'm thinking how the fuck am I going to get out of this? So I'm yelling at the cop like look at him, he's trying to. You know, I'm playing the victim. Now he's trying to attack me, he's trying to hit me. Look at him right. And so the cop's like both of you just shut the fuck up and be still. You know, and at that point this was a big country cop, young white guy, late 20s, big old hoss. You know, you know everything you don't want to see in a cop. When you're yeah, it was him and fully.
Speaker 2:Cops are a mixed bag. You can get really really good ones who are really nice and really care. I had a cop give me a sandwich instead of arresting me one time when he called me getting high. So you get a mixed. You can get either one. This is the one you didn't want. And he's just shut the fuck up. And so I shut up. I'm like okay, and this guy's still trying to headbutt me, trying to bite me. And a cop looks and says dude, stop that before I come back here. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And the guy says fuck you, you white honky piece of shit. You, white boy. Fuck you, white boy, you white honky piece of shit, I'll kill your ass. Cop pulls over and I'm like fuck, it's a rat. Pulls me out the car Shit, I'm about to get beat down. Unhandcuffs me. Says get the fuck out of here. Pulls off at the bum. I never saw him again.
Speaker 1:Wow Got lucky there.
Speaker 2:Man.
Speaker 2:I mean, like I said, I was drunk and fighting with a bum. I did everything to possibly do that was wrong. The only saving grace is that bum was actually crazy, as I thought he was. Now, I mean, I own that. I'm not a victim in that. Like I just said, I got lucky, but it is what it is. Last time I got arrested was about four or five years ago Now. Me and my ex were like eight years, had broken up and I did what I do. I just got on a bus and left Somewhere along the line.
Speaker 2:I somehow ended up in Wisconsin. I ended up renting a room. Do not do this. It's only actually worked out once for me and I've done it like six times. I'm someone you met on Facebook. Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it.
Speaker 2:And I ended up in Wisconsin and some small town called Rice Lake, which is pretty much 90. I think it's maybe 80% or 85% white, maybe 50% native American and then like 0.1% anything else. The big news there was when there was a black guy at the gas station, which is funny to me because they're all like hey, eric, we saw a black guy at the gas station. Yeah, did you hear? There was a black guy at the gas station. I'm looking at him like have you fucking forgot who you're talking to? For those who don't remember, I'm half Nigerian, american Nigerian, so I don't have an accent or anything but my father's Nigerian. So telling me you saw a black guy at the gas station doesn't hit the same, you know, but like that's the kind of town it was.
Speaker 2:So I was taking a save surf course at a local college for like two, three weeks because I was under the misconception that I like to cook, I'm really good at cooking, I'm good at job cooking, not realizing I'm too old for that shit, because when I start cooking, you got to start. I like to cook, I'm really good at cooking, I'm good at job cooking, not realizing I'm too old for that shit, because when you start cooking, you got to start young, because you're doing like 18-hour shifts being a prep cook, no matter what school you went to. You know what I mean. Like it's not something you start when you're old, unless you want to start as a manager. But anyway, I'm taking this course, else there was like 18, 19, 20, 21, 22. And there was these two girls there who.
Speaker 2:I was stupid. I had just broken up with my girl, I hadn't gotten laid in a few months and I was going through my little midlife crisis of am I still attractive? Am I still young and hip? So I was joining in with all the little jokes that they were doing and I was. I don't know if I was. I don't know if I was.
Speaker 2:I don't want to say I was flirting, but I was just being stupid, just joking around. You know stuff where I should have said to myself these are 20 year old girls Forgetting about me too, forgetting about how now being a man is like the worst thing you could be in America and how any you know, at any given time, a female changed her mind and all of a sudden you're like the worst human being walking the planet and you are, no matter what, forgetting about all that. I'm joking with these 20-year-olds. So there's one. She was like not attractive, but she was trying to get everybody to fuck her. She even showed us some film she has on Pornhub of her sucking her boyfriend's dick Like look at me sucking dick, you horn of. Of her sucking her boyfriend's dick. Like look at me sucking dick, you know. That should have been the first warning, like, yeah, I might want to stop joking with that, you know. I mean, like she's showing me porn of movies I'm sucking dick, like I might need to start acting like I'm, you know, 49, 48, 40, whatever I was. But I guess, just, I don't know, I guess the I don't want to say trauma, but just the whole upheaval of ending the eight year relationship, you know, and realizing, wow, I'm old, just all of that was fucking with my judgment, and so I continued joking.
Speaker 2:And then the thing is, though, they kind of went further and further and further. And then, one day I'm sitting in class and like I'm serious at this point, like I'm I'm actually 49 for a change and they're still joking. I'm like, okay, look, not right now, I'm tired, I'm trying to focus on what's going on, joking, joking. I'm like, look, look, I'm trying to. Oh, you think you're special now. Oh, you think, oh, you didn't say that yesterday when you joke with us about, you know, acting like little 20 year old idiots. So finally, I was like will you just leave me the fuck alone, all shit. All of a sudden, their whole energy changed me and they hated me.
Speaker 2:And I remember, a couple days later there was an older woman who was like the only other older person and I did something stupid, but not even stupid, I was just being playful. She had a pocketbook on one chair. She left the room. I put the pocketbook on another chair. I I was bored, just one of those like I don't want to see notices. She's in a different seat. Just, you know something stupid you do when you're bored, like, oh, let me see if she notices. You know, girl was like you test her pocketbook. I can't believe it, don't you touch the fuck? Next thing I know she's going to the office. She's hollering at me, he's intimidating me, he's bullying me. I'm like all I did was tell her to leave me the fuck alone. So then they actually kicked me out of class and told me that she's afraid of me and I can't show the class. And I'm bitching at this point, like, seriously, like are we really there? Because I'm a dude. I told her to leave me alone. I'm the one like are we really doing this?
Speaker 2:A couple days later, cops show up at the house. You touched her ass, you touched her titty, like the two girls had made up this whole big thing about what I had done to them and I'm just like are you seriously arresting me? And the cops are laughing, um, and these are like and I hate, I really, really hate to fucking use this word, but these cops are some racist pieces of fucking shit and I hate that word, I think it's so overused. But in this particular case it was obvious. So they put me in jail overnight.
Speaker 2:I'm furious, I am fucking, I'm bouncing off the walls, because all the other times I was in jail, every single time I was in jail, I was guilty, even the first one where I only pushed her some 30 years ago on the bed, so I can leave the room. Like I was at least guilty of pushing her, so I can leave the room. So even then I was like well, no, I didn't do all that, but I did push her to get away from me. So, you know, maybe I'll get a you know probation or a fine, like. Even then it was like okay, I did do something, you know. So I could kind of wrap my mind around it. I didn't do shit on this one, nothing. I did not grab her ass, I didn't grab her titty, I didn't do none of that. It was just like oh, we're mad at him.
Speaker 2:So I'm sitting in jail and then this female police, uh public defender shows up and I'm thinking, fuck, like I'm fucked. Now you know we're doing a whole Me Too thing and I got a female public defender and she's a young white woman. I was like this. Put me under the fucking jail. And she looks at me. First thing she says to me she reads the report. She says this is bullshit. She says I'm so sorry. I'm like what she says the girls in this town are doing this to everybody. I'm like what you say yeah, anytime a girl gets upset at somebody, this is what they do, we'll take care of it so there's like a pattern of this there's a pattern.
Speaker 1:There's a pattern there so what's I mean, what's funny or ironic about this story so far and just to chime in on this is I actually got we posted a preview, because we're posting previews of the you know, different interviews and stuff we're doing with you as we go. So we posted a preview out on our social media platforms and someone must have recognized your voice and we actually got a message, um, from someone that said you know, this person is not who you think they are and you know they actually committed a sexual assault in Rice Lake, wisconsin, in 2019.
Speaker 2:okay, first of all, I'm not I should be surprised. I applied for a job two years ago and the first day starting a job I got the same thing. Hey, someone sent us this thing such and such and such and I'm like, are you fucking serious? And they were like, yeah, but we talked to them, or we responded and and we tried to talk to them, but they didn't, they didn't want to talk or they didn't want to live we. We researched it further. We're like this is bullshit, fuck you. And they hired me anyway.
Speaker 1:I mean it was. I think that was the same.
Speaker 2:It had to be the same person. They've been stalking me forever but let me tell you.
Speaker 2:This is how it went, though it's not even over. So when she tells me that, I'm thinking okay, okay, so this is just some shit, some some me too bullshit, because you remember, I don't know. Remember this is just some shit, some Me Too bullshit, because you remember, I don't know. Remember this is about when Me Too really first came out and it was a beautiful idea. A beautiful idea, but, like most everything in America, it took them to some really weird, strange extreme where, like, guys would just get charged with everything. You said it alone. Now it's gays, rape, like. It's just this weird extreme of like, let me, let me punish my ex-boyfriend for, like, sleeping with my, my best friend.
Speaker 1:Did you say years ago Gaze rape.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, that's. You never heard her here. Gaze rape. Now if you look at a girl too long, you're gazing.
Speaker 1:I haven't heard of that one.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, Look that one up, that's real. Um, I I even saw one where a guy got a, some celebrity got some guy got charged with like a sexual assault and he proved that he was literally in another country when supposedly it happened. He's like bitch, I was in Belgium. They still went through with charging. It's like I was in Belgium for the whole month. But yeah, but she accused you, so we have to charge. That was the height of me too.
Speaker 2:Believe every woman, no matter what yeah and there was an uptake of just men getting charged at all this, or the girl who, like um, there's just recently some college kid was charged, tried to ruin his life and then they showed us. This was recent, like a month ago, and they showed on the bar camera. They were like he didn't do anything.
Speaker 2:You said yeah, and then the girls laughed it off afterwards. I think in britain they finally punished somebody. Some woman had accused like 18 guys of raping her through the years, through the years, and they finally stopped there and gave her like five years in prison well, do you remember the the duke lacrosse team? Oh yeah, oh yeah, the prostitute, uh-huh yeah, that was the same if I'm not mistaken, she went on to do porn movies at your grant yeah, I don't know, we're not.
Speaker 1:I know they, I know they proved, I know they do a porn movie in your grant.
Speaker 2:I think she dated you grant and then I think she did a porn movie I know they proved that the, the kids weren't raping anyone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, but that was one of those things where all these their lives were ruined.
Speaker 2:There was one in Philadelphia A girl at LaSalle College. A girl had a threesome with two black guys. Then she accused them of rape. They got kicked out of college. Their life was ruined and then they found texts later where she had told her girlfriend that I just fucked them. But I didn't want my parents to know. Not only did I fuck a black guy, but I fucked two of them. So I had to cover my ass and she had texted this to somebody.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I remember hearing something about that too. Yep.
Speaker 2:Nothing happened to her. So you know, and the thing about it, it it's, it's just insane. So I'm at, I'm at my room and the lady or hidden, some big fat woman who, who was like mentally broken because her son killed himself and she blamed herself, and she kept looking to me for, like answers. I'm like I don't have any. I don't have any. She's like well, don't you find me attractive? I'm like thinking to myself bitch, you're 500 pounds. I'm sorry, that's not my. God bless you.
Speaker 2:If you like the big girls, I have nothing against anyone liking what they want, but I should be allowed not to like the big girls. You know what I mean. Nothing against you. I don't get hard. When I see a 500-pound naked woman, if that's your thing, do you Beat that ass up all night long, have a blast. Nothing against it at all, just it won't do anything for me. So then, when this happened, she got mad at me. It's like, oh, you touching her, but not me. I'm like I didn't touch her. Oh, you want her, but not me. I don't want her. Oh, but you're now. Now you're assaulting with. I didn't do shit. Next thing I know the cops are knocking on my door.
Speaker 1:So wait, she heard about the other two charges or accusations.
Speaker 2:Right right.
Speaker 1:Okay, Well.
Speaker 2:I think the cops arrested me at the door, so I think they came home to my house and arrested me when I was renting a room in their house.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, I gotcha.
Speaker 2:So then she found out about it, obviously. And then a couple of days later the cops came and arrested me again and they're like what the fuck is going on? And they're saying, oh, she said you pushed her just now. She was outside, scared, and I'm like now here, ready for this, ready for this, when the cops walked in and said I just pushed her. And she said her and her son were hiding in the backyard, scared of you, you, ready for this. You mean the son that's standing right there, who's 20, 6'2" and he's cleaning his rifle, was standing in the yard, scared of me, 5'8", 48 years old. Let me cover this picture again. Let me cover this picture again. This son, who's 6'2", 20 years old, who's standing right there cleaning his rifle, was scared of me. And they start laughing yeah, yeah, that's what it is. And they all start laughing together and they arrested me. I go to jail. I'm pissed off again.
Speaker 2:The only good thing about it was there was this native guy who was one of the jail guards Big, giant, dude, six, four, six, five, 300 pounds of half fat, half muscle and he let me out of my cell for a while and we stood there talking about boxing and it was just like two guys talking about boxing. He treated me with decency. He treated me like a human being and when it's time to go back in, he's like come on, dog. You know you got to go in right. Like, yeah, man, it's cool, I appreciate you letting me out to talk. He's like don't worry about it, man. You know Like he just treated me like a human being. I hate to say this, but all the white next week when they arrested me to the guys, same pd, same public defender came in.
Speaker 2:The first thing she said to me she said how the fuck did they arrest you? Yeah, I don't know. She said. She was like this is the stupidest shit I've ever seen. They they actually arrested you for this. But yeah, so they let me out. But then they said I can't go back to the house. Thankfully I had someone to call send me some money, because they literally escorted me to the house. My bags were outside. They said you can't go back. I'm in the middle of fucking rice lake in the winter with bags in my hand.
Speaker 2:You know I found a room. Like that day I went to a bigger city. I forget what the city was euclid. I think it was euc Claire, which is something resembling an actual city, and I rented a room. I rented a room in some boarding house or something like that day and then I just like the courthouse was like really far away, it's like a whole other city away. I think it was like a hundred dollar Uber ride or some shit, and I was just like I can't make court, I ain't got no way. I got 200 at the time. I don't think I had 200 hours for like I was like fuck this bullshit. And I saw what was headed for.
Speaker 2:I was like they're just gonna like judge the police, everybody's friends in this bitch. You know they're talking about there's a black guy at the gas station, which is ironic because euclid after you had a gigantic african community at rice lake didn't have one single black person. So it's like they specifically were like we're not having that here. You know, we're going to be a little white America and when I say race, race based things, trust me it's real, because I actually hate a fucking race card, I hate race baiting. I hate when people are like, oh, white people this, and I fucking hate that shit. No, white person is not the reason you're standing outside 8 o'clock in the morning. Smoking a blunt You're like white man isn't keeping you from getting a job. Drinking a 48 in the morning is so I hate that shit. So if I bring it up, it's pretty much a done deal. It's real Because I despise even having to say those words, but it real because I I despise even having to say those words, but it's true.
Speaker 2:So I didn't show up for court. I was like fuck that, then I get, come, get my ass. I'm getting arrested for for scaring a six foot two 20 year old holding a rifle. Like I've seen how ridiculous this is. You know. I got some girls who I cursed out like leave me the fuck alone. All of a sudden I touched their butt, like now we ain't doing all that. So I left. I found out later they found me guilty of um, um, what was it? Uh, uh. What's the thing is when you holler too much, like when you scream, like nothing more than screaming?
Speaker 1:disturbing the peace or yeah, something like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I got a fine.
Speaker 1:I'm still paying for like a thousand dollars, like so they didn't even charge you, so you didn't even get charged with no, I don't know if they sure.
Speaker 2:I think they dropped all the charges because, or something, this early conduct, that's what I got.
Speaker 1:I got a disorderly conduct, disorderly conduct I saw the initial charge because I looked it up after she messaged and the initial charge was like fourth degree sexual assault, which I guess would be grabbing someone's butt.
Speaker 2:Now. But here's the thing, and which is horrible, because once you get a sexual assault to a man, people only read rapist yeah, you get a sex crime pissing and it comes up as sex crime. Now you get caught pissing in the alley, you can get a sex charge, but people only see rapists. So I was furious, like you're going to destroy my life on the lie with a sex charge. A sex charge Do you know what that does to a man? Like seriously, if I did it, I'd own it. Like with the girl I pushed I admitted it. I pushed her in the bed to get my drug. Okay, I take that you feel me. I take that it wasn't right, but all I did was push her away from me. But I did it. The guy I pickpocketed what did I say I pickpocketed? Did I beat around the bush? No, I pickpocketed his ass.
Speaker 2:I was stupid, it was early in my addiction and I was stupid of snow. I pickpocketed his ass. I was stupid, I was early in my addiction and I was stupid. I owned my shit. If I had done it, I'd be like you know what? I got carried away. I grabbed a butt. Should've done. It is what it is, but I didn't. That's what pisses me the fuck off. It's not that I got caught, it's that I didn't do it.
Speaker 2:Every time I got arrested, I'm sitting in jail, the first thing I'm thinking is damn you stupid motherfucker, why'd you do that? And this time I was thinking there's a difference. When you're sitting in jail and you're guilty, you're trying to figure out ways of like okay, how can I lessen this? You know what I mean. How can I lessen, do? Oh, fuck that. And so this bitch has been stalking me ever since I got a disorderly conduct. Probably, if it's cursed me to fuck out, probably because they and really the reason I think they gave me that was just to save face. I really think they found me guilty of disorderly conduct just to save face, because then they'd have to look at we did all this arresting of this guy for nothing, and I didn't even go to court. That's part of why I got found guilty of that, if I'd actually gone to court, which maybe I should have. But you know, at the time it was looking like I was about to be the sacrificial lamb in little white America. So I said fuck that, come get me. You know what I mean. Oh, fuck that you don't catch my ass. I'm not being no sacrificial. You know mixed breed. Come catch me. This is all a condom. I honestly believe they did that just to save face, cause they had to explain why. Did we arrest this man two, three times for nothing? And now this bitch still haunts me five years later because she's obsessed with me.
Speaker 2:People get this weird thing. It actually happens with trump. I'm about to go into trump. Watch this one. I'm sure how it happens. I've gotten out this. My landlady, my my landlord's girlfriend, is doing the same thing, but he's finally admitted that, like dude, I'm scared of her too. It's not just you. She has decided that I'm to blame for everything that's ever happened in her life because I couldn't cure it. Like she was talking to me one day and telling me I was raped and my boyfriend beat me up and I used to run drugs and I was a bad parent. And I'm just sitting there like I didn't ask any.
Speaker 2:I didn't ask any of this, but I'm listening, I'm trying to be a decent human being. You know, I never liked the person. She always seemed cuckoo to me so I really never wanted to get close. But you know, we're kind of in the same place and I'm just listening. And when I couldn't cure her, then I became to blame for everything. This girl, same thing. One time, when we were still getting along, she took me to some meetings she was going to for like abused people or something, and I'm like she told me that I was. She was asking me to go for moral support. And I get there. She's like so what did you get out of that? I'm like get there. She's like so what did you get out of that? I'm like what do you mean? What I get out of it? What could you be me here for? I said well, I thought you could use it because I get something out of it. I'm like what are you talking about? Well, maybe you can help me understand. I'm like what?
Speaker 2:There are people in this world who see other people as only one or two things. You're either going to be responsible for curing them you will fill the empty spaces of them or you automatically become the blame for everything that they've gone through. That's it. That's all anyone exists to them. A lot of people do that Trump now and I'm not saying I'm pro-Trump, I'm not saying I'm against Trump, I'm not getting into my political beliefs, I'm just making an observation of the world. There are people right now that they blame Trump for everything that's ever gone wrong in their life. It's called Trump derangement syndrome. In fact, george Bayhart did it on national television. Some kid got shot and she said it's Trump's fault and even her super duper extreme liberal cohorts looked at her like what the hell are you talking about? They've decided that if their wife leaves them, it's Trump's fault. If someone gets shot in israel, it's trump's fault. Their kid was murdered 20 years ago.
Speaker 1:It's trump's fault yeah, it's fucked up. I I've seen people lose their shit over that like and I was I was almost fucking relieved when he didn't get re-elected because'm like now I don't have to. Now people can just own their own shit.
Speaker 2:They got worse.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, they did.
Speaker 2:It got worse because you know what's happened is, now that he's not reelected, you can't actually connect the dots. So you can give him anything because there's no way to disprove it. Yeah it, yeah. To the person in charge, you can actually connect the dots and say, well, no, they didn't do this because, look, they wrote this law, they did this, that they made this decision, that blah, blah, blah. But when a person actually not in charge, you can create all of these. What ifs? Yeah, well, it's wouldn't happen. If, well, if he had it done, but he's not in charge, how is he responsible? Well, that's why yeah, they got like daddy issues.
Speaker 1:It's like a daddy issue, but with Trump.
Speaker 2:It's a huge. They literally came up with the word what they call Trump derangement syndrome. It means the people, and what they don't understand is that you've literally turned this man into a god. This is what these people have done to me. This is what the landlady did to me. I think this is what this girl did to me. They Listen to what these people have done to me. This is what the landlady did to me. I think this is what this girl did to me. They turned me into a god for the sole purpose of me failing them, and now I can be responsible for everything that's gone wrong in their life. Think about that. They made me a god just so I could fail, and now I'm the perfect blame.
Speaker 1:When we think of shade, we think of a place to relax and recover, a place to hide out from the punishing heat and blinding light of day, somewhere where we can catch our breath, collect our thoughts and head back into the day rejuvenated and restored. We all need to find shade sometimes. The next episode of Murdering Malachi will be out in a few weeks. This story is actually evolving as we were recording and publishing it. Most of these interviews that you've heard so far are from a few months ago and in that time there has been some drastic changes in Malachi's life A few hospital stays, a near-death experience. Make sure you are subscribed to our channel and have the notifications turned on. You won't want to miss it. The Redacted Podcast is produced by myself, matt Bender, and my wife, pamela Bender. Make sure to go out there and give us a like, a share, share it with your friends, rate us. Every little bit helps. Thanks for tuning in.
